Let's start at the very beginning...

Some people are rich.  Some people are not.  My family and I are very, very not.

In fact, as of this writing, we're among the elite group of Americans known as "freeloading scumbags" who rely on welfare to get through the month.  Welfare.  What an awful word that has become.  Just the sound of it makes me want to spit, like there's something dirty in my mouth.

Pretty much everyone on welfare can tell you their compelling personal story of hardship, and how it excuses them from feeling guilty.  I won't bother, because A) if your reaction is to think my family and I should be deported to some other country where we can learn what it means to work for a living, nothing I can say will convince you anyway, and B) I feel horrendously guilty.

The worms-in-my-liver feeling of guilt is what I'd like to focus on first.

I have a Bachelor's degree in Psychology, which I just received in August.  My final G.P.A. was a 3.74.  While in college, I got married, got pregnant (fyi: morning sickness + morning classes do not a fun semester make), and had a baby.  I also worked 20 hours a week for a good portion of my college career, and always worked full-time during the summers.  At first that meant waitressing; later I worked retail and then got into installing (NOT selling--I was actually operating power tools) security systems.  In short, I went where the money was, and worked hard.

Before that I was in high school, where I took enough AP classes to start college as a sophomore.  I was president or vice president of at least five clubs, and heavily involved in eight or nine.  Heck, some clubs (and even classes), only existed because I petitioned them into being.  Oh, and also, I placed first in a national speaking competition.  And graduated three weeks after turning 17.  Since this is crossing into bragging, let me get to the point of it all: for my entire life, I've been an over-achiever.  I work hard.  I make things happen.  You can blame my parents, and their zero-tolerance policy of "Don't be a victim of circumstance."  Meaning that no matter what the world throws at you, use your own human resourcefulness to rise above it.

You get the idea: be proactive.  Take initiative.  Oh, and also, wind up on Medicaid and food stamps when you're twenty-two.  Wait--what?

I told you I won't bore you with the details that led to my pitiful mooch-fest here.  I'll let that unfold gradually to those poor souls who decide to follow the rest of my blog.  But I hope you can glean from the last few paragraphs that ending up on welfare is so far off the radar of things I had planned for my life, it's not even in the same galaxy.

That said, I have "Don't be a victim of circumstance" stuck in my head harder than the hampster dance.  So even though we've fallen on hard times, I am going to make an arrogant, lofty claim.

My husband and I will be millionaires someday.

We're going to do it for three reasons.  Firstly, we want the financial freedom.  I don't ever want to be thrust into poverty by life circumstances ever again.  From here on out, we are moving uphill.  I don't care if that means army-crawling there through mud and dog poop, we are going to make it.

Secondly, this is America.  If there were ever a place where people with nothing could rise up from the ashes to become wealthy, contributing members of society, this is it.  Some pessimists say it isn't possible.  To them, I'd answer, "I AM RUBBER, YOU ARE GLUE."  But then after the furious blushing, I'd probably--hopefully--direct them to my blog, where eventually I hope to have a well-documented record of my path out of poverty.

Lastly, I want to set an example.  There are a lot of good people out there on Medicaid, believe it or not.  Some, like me, are soulless demons, but some of them are actual people with hearts and plans and crushingly awful circumstances.  Maybe if I can show that you don't need a lucky break to get back on your feet, I can balance out the strain my family and I have placed on society these last several months.

That's the plan, anyway.  If I don't make it to a million in time to retain anybody's interest, at least I hope to show that I'm on the right track.  It's all in good fun, anyway.

But that's the goal.  Right now, my family would be in a hellish financial freefall without welfare; step one will be for us to be off it within six months.  Feel free to follow along, point and laugh, or even just shake your head at the ludicrosity of it all.

In the meantime, I welcome your comments!  Talk to you soon!